John Wayne Guy was a radio personality that can be heard throughout The Conduit on radios. John Wayne Guy isn't his true name, and it's unknown what his radio show is called. He is likely deceased, either being killed by The Drudge, or dying from nuclear explosion that that destroyed D.C. when The Trust Base went nova.

Monoluges Clips from the ShowEdit

  • "Metro rail service has been canceled throughout the D.C. area. Now, the reasons the Transit Authority might cancel service range from computer malfunction to real safety threats. People have been staying in their homes since the curfew went into effect, and this is terrible for business. So my inclination is that nothing short of a real threat would cause them to cancel Metro rail service. The National Guard has only been mobilized a handful of times to protect Washington. Not since Hurricane Katrina, in 2005, have we seen such a pervasive guard presence. There's an ugly side to evacuating the whole city, and that's looting. Looters can and will steal your possessions if you fail to take precautions. Take whatever valuables with you that you can. What you must leave behind should be kept in a lock box hidden out of sight."
  • "The military is equipped to handle biohazardous material. Members of the National Guard have breathing masks and are trained in their use. Airborne pathogens shouldn't be a problem for our military. Residents in the Chinatown neighborhood were scheduled to be evacuated today. But floodwater is making the evacuation difficult. A fleet of Army National Guard vehicles were slated to transport people out of the city, but the water clearance on these vehicles isn't enough to ford across the flood zone."
  • "Witnesses report military fighter jets flying low over the city. Based on the information coming in, we suspect the Air Force has scrambled F-22 Raptors. The jets can carry a h--- of a payload. So if they strike a target in the city, we'll definitely know about it. We're getting a rash of prank calls about UFOs and aliens. Normally my policy is to not acknowledge unsubstantiated information, but we're hearing similar descriptions from multiple sources. Nooo, it's stupid, is what it is. You've been watching too much (*weird static noise*) if you're seeing flying saucers. Even if they're here, the U.S. Air Force is second to none. We'd blast these things out of the sky and be home by dinner."
  • "This situation shows us that we have to be prepared for attacks at any time. We have scattered reports of huge unrest throughout the D.C. metro area. We have callers referring to some possible mutation of the Bug, or a new wave of terror attacks possibly aimed at our government. They speak of people becoming erratic or psychotic in their behavior. All people still inside the D.C. metro area should barricade themselves in their homes and do not answer their doors. Rescue personnel will find you once the city has calmed down and the National Guard have established control in your area. I repeat, all listeners still inside the D.C. metro area, barricade yourself inside your homes. Do not answer your door. Do not check on your neighbors. I have consulted with a former Homeland Security agent who's advised that all civilians get to the lowest level of their homes with a flashlight, canned food, and water for three days, and a first aid kit. Portable radios are advised, and inhabited buildings should place a large "X" using duct tape or other materials over their doors to indicate to rescue workers where you are. Do not answer your door for anyone. Remain inside during this crisis. Those requiring medical attention are advised to tie a strip of red fabric to their door handles in addition to the "X". The National Guard is ill-prepared to meet this onslaught of violence. Mark my words, this type of attack could lead to a lengthy clearing process by which we establish a cordoned area around the D.C. metro area. With requirements for CDC testing, as well as security of the area in general, we could be looking at more than a year before we are even able to return to our homes.Baffling reports of inhuman attackers are reaching us. Personally, this indicates to me that a hallucinogenic agent or some manner of mass hysteria seems to be gripping our survivors. Those owning gas masks and water filtration methods should be employing them. We can not be too careful. But if you do begin to see these alien images, lock yourself in a bathroom or basement and remain calm. Try to regulate your breathing, review what you've consumed in the last twenty-four hours. If this is indeed some new chemical attack on our people all possible information as to the root of the matter will be necessary. I have reports that submarine forces are supporting the National Guard refugee efforts. Citizens are being quarantined for the time being. Those fears of chemical or biological agents infecting the populace at large have been noted. Please co-operate with these officials. We are experiencing some bleed through on our signal at this hour. Concerns that subversion or interference due to this attack is being performed caused us to investigate this matter. Our technicians are checking the signal tower and we should have the matter resolved soon. Anyone knowing information can...their... ...anyone has been scanning other channels and noticed similar interference, please record the exact frequency of the interruption or rogue signal."
  • "The power grid in this area seems to be experiencing large fluctuations and spikes at this time. We have moved our broadcast to an old bunker in the sub-basement of the building and started checking on our generators. We have reports of sporadic power surges in various areas of the city, and we're attempting to find the cause or source of these spikes. Gunfire has erupted near our station. I am currently inside our small bunker with the station manager, two technicians, and my producer. The weapons, to my mind, sound as though they may be Chinese. But one of our technicians have stated the gunfire sounds like the SCAR that's being used by smaller government agencies. Again, we are repeating our advice that all residents in the D.C. metro area remain indoors and barricaded in their homes. Repeated reports that civilians are experiencing psychotic and hysterical episodes are coming from all of our listeners able to call into the station. We repeat, do not leave your homes. Do not check your neighbors. Do not find yourselves unaware or unprepared for what is happening. We are under attack."
  • "If this is a contaminant or agent added to our water supply, we need to also be wary of fresh produce harvested from affected areas. All residents are advised to eat only canned goods until the situation has passed. Those who own firearms are advised to have such weapons nearby, but to identify any intruders before firing in case government officials are attempting a rescue in your area. Again, place a large "X" using duct tape or other material over your doors to indicate to rescue personnel that your residence is occupied. We have received communication that our signal, which was briefly interrupted earlier, was used to transmit a coded message of some sort. Any listener that has recorded or can accurately recall the contents of such a message, please contact this station. We need to learn all we can of this attack and this may be a vital piece of information. I have reports at this time that a huge explosion has occurred in the area of Bolling Air Force Base. We are seeking any information as to the nature of the blast. Many of our listeners have reported strange shapes in the sky. We are hoping that this is an indication of more aid being directed to our area, but no-one is able to give concrete details at this time. Much of our information is conflicting, and much of it sounds...sounds...quite frankly, insane. We are looking into any and all reports. At this time, we can only advise caution and vigilance amongst our listeners."
  • ​"Heather Hampton is reporting at this hour that all major government officials from the D.C. metro area have either been evacuated or killed. Most governmental offices closed due to the Bug. I'd assume the losses to be minor, though how many residents are still in the area is unknown at this time. Marshal law has been established in the D.C. metro area. Curfew has been set to 4:00 in the afternoon. All residents are ordered to clear the street under threat of detainment and possible further penalties, up to and including death. All residents, please follow our DHS-issued suggestion of barricading yourselves in your homes and affixing some method of an "X" to your doors, either through duct tape or other means. Rescue personnel will find you and you will be rescued."
  • "The Chevy Chase area has been designated as a staging area for both National Guard units and the Marines. I would assume this is an attempt to mount a rescue response through the city. The Department of Homeland Security has promised that military escorts for evacuation purposes will occur in phases, clearing the city in a sweep north of the Potomac, moving west to east. Be prepared to move quickly. Carry only a single bag or suitcase per family. This is a mandatory evacuation, and again, we'll keep you updated as information is given to us by government officials. The Marines are forming a defensive line along Rock Creek Parkway. Listeners who are west of this area should be prepared to aid these soldiers if they need to fall back toward the west. Those near the Rock Creek Parkway on the eastern side should evacuate toward the parkway immediately. Again, the Marines are forming a defensive line along the Rock Creek Parkway. Citizens on the eastern side of the parkway should move to the western side behind the Marine wall. From our broadcast position near Foggy Bottom, the sounds of gunfire've died away. I still maintain that the gunfire was not from U.S. issue weaponry. Any event, now that the gunfire has died down, we will be investigating the aftermath of whatever occurred outside our station."


  • His name isn't really John Wayne Guy, as he never refers himself in any name. However he does sound like John Wayne, so he is called for reference.
  • The name of station he works for is unknown.


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